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9/27
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Harry Potter:"Do you really think there's going to be a war, Sirius?"
Sirius Black: "It… feels like it did before."
TURN ON THE LIGHT is a Post- Potter roleplay that takes place twenty-five years after the Second Wizarding War.
We welcome canon and original characters in this (currently) sandbox style roleplay.
Alora was still trying to decide whether she had totally lost it or not. Her life had been in upheaval for the best part of the last year, and although things were looking quite a bit better and she had pulled herself together for the most part; but sometimes she wondered was she still totally and utterly out of her depth. Next week she would take up her new position at Hogwarts. Despite the hours she'd poured into lesson plans and assignment guidelines; she didn't exactly feel ready. Maybe she never would be, but as always, she would keep her cool demeanour and never let it show. Years of practice and schooling from her Grandmother to mould her features into a placid smile, or a politely blank stare as needed had her mostly trained for anything.
With the nerves she felt about facing actual students, she'd need the steel it gave her as well.
Making her way into the hotel Ballroom where the Fundraising Gala was being held, she covered her nerves with just the same steady smile she'd worn for years. Not too interested and eager, nor was it in anyway snarky or rude. It was just her face now. Brushing an absent-minded hand over a wrinkle in the silk of her floor-length green gown, she frowned slightly. It hadn't been there when she had left the house, but never mind for now. She could only hope it wasn't too noticeable and try forget about it.
Instead she busied herself by reaching to a waiter making their round with trays of champagne, and plucking up a glass. In the back of her mind, she could almost hear her formidable Grandmother tutting at her and telling her to be careful, this was all for her new place of work. And yet, she still sank her first glass almost in one, the nerves getting the better of her. Maybe it would be better to keep the glasses coming, these Pureblood led fundraisers could get boring. Glancing around the room, she bit down on her red painted lip and tried to see if she could spot another wait staff making their rounds, or perhaps she'd have to go to the bar instead.
He shouldn't be here. Well, he should and he shouldn't. His parents, particularly his father who could be rather cruel, expected each and every single one of the Gromitts at every elite social event that the rich and powerful of the wizarding world had to offer. The more appearances they made the better as it would assure their standing within the upper echelon of the magical community. Did it matter that they were secretly half-bloods themselves? No. Not unless someone blabbed and the only one the family ever seemed worried about doing so was Silas. Ironically Silas was the obedient one, always doing whatever someone asked him to which is how he got into more uncomfortable predicaments than most (that and his crippling anxiety).
He didn't like being here. He didn't like dressing up, being surrounded by people he didn't know (being surrounded by any people really), he didn't much like talking to people, or his personal space being invaded. Mostly he didn't like lying and that's what this was at the end of the day. One big giant lie.
Feeling his nerves tighten he began to clench his hands into fists then release. He needed to get out of here. But there was no escape (and if he ducked out surely his father would notice). Well, if he couldn't leave he needed to get to somewhere private where he could listen to music and relax. Hurrying through the crowd, bumping into several, he found a corner of the ballroom behind some plants. Out of his coat pocket he produced a small muggle walkman (something his father had never and would never see) and popped one of the earbuds on pressing play. Instantly the music of the muggle band Cheap Trick began to play the opening chords to Surrender which Silas, eyes darting back and forth in the midst of an anxiety attack, clung to, humming them softly before quietly murmuring them under his breath. Midway through he noticed a shade of light red hair that he recognized. No... It couldn't be.
"A-Alora?" The words sounded hesitant, uncertain, even though he had about four years at Hogwarts on her. "A-A-Alora Astor is th-that you?" He lowered the headphones to his neck and absentmindedly stepped toward her, forgetting to turn off his music. "It's m-me... um.... Silas? Silas Gromitt?" It was his own name yet even that sounded like a question like if she didn't approve he would change it right down to the birth certificate.
Alora had been partly successful in her stalking; she had managed to pilfer a second glass of champagne without having to go to the bar, yes, but at a deadly cost. She had managed to get cornered by the old Ancient Runes Professor, who seemed impossibly even older than when Alora had been at the school. For her sake, she had inquired hopefully if they had long left till retirement with the same polite and patient smile as always. When she did eventually make it away thank merlin, she was happily on her way to her third glass of champagne as a reward of sorts, as well as something to calm her growing nerves. Plucking another off a passing tray, she gave a quiet sigh and silently wondered how long she would have to actually hang around this things and keep up appearances before she could skulk away without being noticed.
Taking the first sip from the flute, a small smile played on her lips, though an uneasy feeling started up in her; like someone was watching her. Alright, maybe the bubbles were going to her head and maybe she should slow down. But then, no. She heard her name and in a flash of red hair, she turned on her heel to meet Silas' gaze. His face was familiar, but at first she wasn't sure. Her smile was guilty as he said her name again. Clearly he knew who she was, and yet...
Her amber eyes squinted for a moment, taking in his features. Something in her brain was registering, but it had been so long. Surely not, but yes, as he stammered over his own name, almost questioning it, her stomach seemed to do a somersault. Silas Gromitt in front of her, in the flesh. It had been literal years since she'd laid eyes on him, and maybe it was the bubbles going to her brain but now he was here she wasn't mad. Her red lips were agape for a moment, a smile starting as she looked over his features once again. He was pretty cute now. Well, likely he always had been and she'd been too stubborn to notice perhaps. They had once played together as kids at functions exactly like this. Well, that was until she hadn't been allowed to by her Grandmother, it had been called unladylike or some nonsense like that, to hang around with Boys. To be friends with anyone though was unbecoming in her Grandmother's eyes. Then they had gotten older and grown apart. Silas had his friends and went off to Hogwarts a few years ahead of her. They hadn't been friends there, and then after her own graduation she had gone to Muggle University, eventually moving to New York.
Merlin, it had been too long.
The red painted lips began to tweak into an even guiltier smile, and her pale cheeks flushed ever so slightly as she had the dawning realisation she'd be just standing gawking at him. "Silas...I..." swallowing whatever lump was rising in her throat, she silently cursed herself as she felt her cheeks grow redder and tried to calm herself. "I mean, hi." with a quiet laugh, she shook her head, trying to shake off the embarrassment. If only the ground could open up now, and swallow her up entirely. "Sorry, I didn't really expect to see you here and I didn't even recognise you really. It's been....a while" she finished rather lamely, still looking up at him in a state of almost giddy, but rather confused surprise. As he stood closer to her, she could hear the loud music coming from the headphones at his neck, in total contrast to the string quartet playing music in the centre of the room. It made her smile just a slight bit more, how utterly Silas.
He stood before his once classmate suddenly feeling like an utter fool. The way she blinked, the faint barely there smile, the slightly parted lips were the telltale signs of trying to place him. She didn't remember him - just like most everyone else in his life. Figures, he was a right idiot for even trying to be daring and to greet her. He would have been far better off still hiding and sulking behind the fake fern.
"I-It's ok if you don't remember me." He did his best to play off the uncomfortable situation with a barely there smile, a blush rushing to his cheeks and a similar shade of pink coating his hair. Damn this being a Metamorphmagus. Where his own nervous words and ticks betrayed him, so did his mane. "I wouldn't remember me either." Out in the open and feeling very vulnerable, his nervous dark and beady eyed gaze glanced quickly around the ballroom as if he afraid that they were being watched or he was trying to find a quick exit. Perhaps a mix of the two. Either way, it would spare them both.
"Hi." He greeted sheepishly with a shrug as he relented trying to fight the awkwardness. This whole exchange was going to be uncomfortable just like everything else in his life. He would just have to bare it. "Yeah. I've uh, grown up, like people d-d-do. Almost the same size though." He actually attempted a light joke, a bad one at that, but knowing Alora from his childhood helped things a little bit. He could at least make words which was a step in the right direction. "You too... Look different I mean." Blinking he suddenly looked startled. Perhaps that was the wrong thing to say? "G-Grown up I mean." That was also probably the wrong thing to say. Shoot. He really couldn't win, could he?
Catching her smile he began to return it, mistaking it for one of fondness, that is until he noticed where her eyes had wandered. "Oh. Uh..." Nervous and somewhat shaky hands scrambled to turn off the muggle walkman and hastily tuck the headphones into his pocket. "Sorry. It's uh..." His hair turned bright red from embarrassment. "Never mind." Probably best not to get into it. It would only get him into trouble anyways.
He probably should distract her so she didn't get suspicious and pry. "What have you been up to?" That's what normal people asked, wasn't it?
Alora knew he was scrambling now, like he had when they were little and they were called over by the adults. Any of them had been enough to set the kids on edge, even the nice ones. Her smile began to fade just slightly, the more the guilt set in. Her mouth drying up, and the corners of her smile turning down now. Merlin she didn't mean for this to happen.
"No, it's just..." When he his hair began to tint just slightly was when she trailed off. That was distracting just a little. Pursing her lips instead she decided to let him stammer over his words momentarily. It seemed near impossible to get a word in edgeways anyway. Alora didn't mind, it gave her a second to think about what she would actually say for a moment. Eventually her smile did turn again; merlin he was a mess. Opening her mouth she stepped forward to close the distance between them and placed a hand on each of his bicep areas "Silas, it's ok." Her smile was sheepish now. But she tried to be more confident, taking a hold on things. "I'm sorry. It's exactly that. It's been...what..." trailing off quietly she did the maths for a split second "Like the guts of fifteen years I guess. You're all grown up. You just look a little different is all, my brain needed a minute." Stopping for a moment she realised she was probably a little too close. Her cheeks tinged just slightly and she stepped back, letting her hands fall away.
"You're taller than me anyway, I'm still small." her smile now a more teasing one.
Eyeing the walkman again she gave a small shrug "It's fine I like music" Even if it wasn't some she was utterly familiar with, it was a nice contrast. Although she got the feeling he didn't want to talk much about it, so she said no more. She was good at reading people like that, knowing when to drop things.
It was only when he asked what she'd been up to, did she feel her stomach twist. She knew the question would come eventually. "I recently moved back from New York. I've taken a job at Hogwarts actually. That's the only reason I'm here I guess." glancing around, her smile dampening slightly she sighed and added in a much quieter tone "Otherwise I thought I'd left all this behind." The deflection would work for now, she hoped. Nobody needed to know that sorry tale.
Forcing herself to brighten up again, she took two glasses of champagne from a new waiter stopped beside them and thrust one into Silas' hand with a mischievous grin growing on her red lips, almost a challenge. Bold by Alora's standards, but the few glasses she'd already had were likely going to her head and anyway, she may as well enjoy the company of an old friend while she was stuck here.
"What about you?" tilting her head to the side, she shifted her gaze to glance around the room instead of resting on him. Merlin knew he seemed on edge enough. They'd both been to enough parties like this in their lifetime, sure, but sometimes you still could never grow into it she supposed.
He had been wrapped up so much in his own worry that he almost missed how her eyes trailed up to his color changing hair. Frowning he quickly ran his hands repeatedly through his hair until it returned back to its usual dark brown color. It was never not horribly embarrassing if not outright humiliating.
"There." Releasing an exhale his arms relaxed at his side (or at least gave the appearance that they had). "Sorry." One some days (a lot of days) he felt like he was always apologizing. It was as natural as breathing for him. Was his color changing mop something to apologize for? Not really. Still, he felt inclined to do so. Silas always felt like he was intruding on other folks' times just by existing. His father knocked that mentality into him long ago.
Gosh. She looked so annoyed. He remembered her as being a very nice girl, albeit younger, during their schooling days but apparently he also annoyed even the kind at heart. Great. Just great. "I... I probably should get going. I don't, uh, want to take up any more of your time... than I already have I mean." Inwardly kicking himself he was broken out of his inner monologue of self deprecation when he felt the light pressure at his upper arm. His gaze lifted swiftly and landed on the woman's face, stunned. What was she doing? Was he dreaming? His line of vision glanced down to her hand on his arm and then back to her. Did she know she was doing it? Was this real life? Forcing himself to swallow he eventually made words come out.
"Oh... uh... okay..." He may have had a few years on her but right now he sounded like an awkward and overwhelmed child. Still a little jittery, he shoved his hands into his pants pockets. "I guess you're right... You know me... I just..." His voice trailed off and he blushed again, a light pink raising in his cheeks and hair. She didn't really know him at all did she. That had been a silly thing to say.
When her eyes caught glimpse of his walkman he hurriedly shoved it further into his coat jacket pocket. "It's nothing." He corrected her in a more worried voice than an angry one. "Just something I found on the street. I'm going to throw it out." He would never do such a thing really. The portable muggle music was essential to his survival.
"Hogwarts?" He was grateful for the change in topic. "W-Well, that's great. You must be really excited." He did his best to maintain a smile even though every ounce of him was jealous. All of his classmates making something of themselves and he was... well, a member of the Wizengamot wasn't something to scoff at but it was always difficult not to compare yourself to your peers and feel like you were failing. Hell, Silas felt like he was drowning.
"Otherwise I thought I'd left all this behind."
There was no missing her little frown and, identifying with her, Silas returned it matching her soft voice with his own. "You would think that, but you can't ever escape. Not really." Sad words from a person who knew all too well. Thankfully Alora didn't seem to want to dwell too long and Silas found both of his hands clutching a champagne flute. "Oh! I uh..." Blinking with confusion he looked at her. "Still over at the Wizengamot. J-J..Just came from there actually. Almost didn't make it." Maybe it would have been better for them both if he hadn't. Awkwardly he took a tiny sip of the bubbly golden liquid, his eyes never once leaving her. Surely she would run away soon... It was only a matter of time.
"No Silas. No more being sorry" shooting him another small smirk she rolled her eyes. There's no way she could be annoyed with him for being like this. It was surprising in one way, but not entirely. She knew it what it was like living on a knife edge. Alora was finding herself enjoying his company more than she thought she would, but only if he'd relax a little more.
'You know me'
Of course she did. Biting her top lip into the red paint of her bottom, she glanced around the room to make sure they weren't being watched before placing a hand on his arm and guiding him back to a quieter corner of the room. "C'mon..." They were still here of course, there would be no escaping yet, but she hoped it would be less overwhelming for him. Even if neither said it out loud, she knew how he felt. Secretly she was pleased to be less in plain sight as well. As much as she liked the glamour of getting all dressed up, it had conjured back just about every negative emotion that had come with it from her earlier life. It was odd really, in one way it felt like this was her old life. The old her. The her that had escaped when her Grandmother had died in sixth year. The present her wasn't quite the same; being here now she wasn't sure just how to feel about the whole thing. Maybe that was why she kept glancing at Silas, seeking out some sort of comfort.
Yes, of course it'd be that and not his nice cheekbones.
Alora glanced to him again, relaxing somewhat now she wasn't out in the open with people staring. Show Pony no more. With another quick sip of her drink, she raised an eyebrow and her smile became a little more teasing again. "Wizengamot. Very impressive mr big shot" Which it was really. Alora had had determination and brains, but not in that way. No, she chose things her Grandmother had always called 'fluff subjects'. Silas was always the sort of 'suitor' Amelia Astor had always put on a pedestal and wanted for Alora. If only she knew how downhill her life had actually gotten after she had gone for a Muggleborn, well she'd be turning in her grave as well as giving her a big fat 'I told you so'. It was difficult to not let her mind go there and the shadow of her thoughts showed on her face, but she was trying her best to ignore it. To not dwell and not let it show. As always. She was also trying her best to not stare at Silas, lest she make him freak again (or continue freaking out really) but after glancing around the ballroom at all the people they were actively avoiding she found her eyes coming back to rest on him again, her smile more genuine now in even keel with her quieter tone "Really though, that's great Si congrats"
He tilted his head at her confused. No more being sorry? But that's how he was every waking moment of every day! If he wasn't sorry, what was he?
"Sorry." Came the apology about being sorry before he could stop it. Instantly he blushed and looked away shamed in spite of himself. "Right. No more apologizing." He repeated her words as if trying to convince himself that he would be able to do it. Fat chance.
Once again here hand found his arm and it was all too easy to guide him away from out in the open even though his brain couldn't make his feet move due to how stunned he was by the gesture. Still, they made it out ok. At being called a big shot he shirked letting out a nervous chuckle that he very nearly choked on.
"Well, I-I-I don't know about all th-th-that." He stammered suddenly very overwhelmed by the praise. It was true his position as a member was a very respected one and he was honestly quite skilled at it but talking about himself was very difficult. Talking about cases or victims of crimes... that somehow was easier. He could go on for hours. Then, when he was done, that switch just turned off and he was bumbling through life again. Like now.
Si? His brow craned intrigued. He was Silas, or Mr. Gromitt, or Gromitt, or freak... Never Si. It was weird to hear yet he didn't hate it. That didn't mean he liked it either. It didn't really fit him. Even so he would weather it for her benefit. So he forced a weak little smile in respond nervously digging his hands deeper into his coat pockets the champagne absentmindedly set on a table behind them. "Just Silas..." Though he would be whatever people wanted him to be if it meant not being ignored or bullied.
"Is uh..." He glanced around. "Any of your family here?" As a youngin' he had met some of them. They probably didn't remember him but Silas rarely forgot a face as evident by the person he was currently speaking to.
"It is a big deal. It's the Wizengamot" rolling her eyes with another grin, she felt the bubbles rush to her head again. She wanted another, even if she knew she shouldn't. It was something to do, a way to pass the time. Leaning back against the pillar they were stood next to she nodded in silence in response to 'just Silas'. Mental note taken. She was sure Silas had other places to be for now. Actual important people like Wizengamot colleagues, or acquaintances of his family to schmooze.
With his next question, she straightened from where she had been slumped back against the pillar, upright still, but definitely more distracted now. She'd been staring towards the dance floor now. There wasn't a sit down meal as such, but there was a band set up now to play some eclectic mix. Some slow ice breakers had began to move from the crowd to dance to the swing music currently playing.
Her face was slightly pained as she drew her attention back to him. "My family Silas?" an awkward half laugh left her lips, her head tilting, rolling slightly on her neck. "My Grandmother died when I was in sixth year. I thought you would have heard." with a paus her voice grew a slight edge now, a more sour tone to it. Not hinted towards him, but life in general "I don't have any family left. I mean I guess I have distant cousins and stuff through her, but I don't know them. I had a boyfriend in New York, and friends. They were a family of sorts I mean, but..." choosing her words more carefully, she looked away from him; the shame starting to creep in as a flush in her cheeks. "They were his friends really. When we broke up they stopped talking to me. There was nothing left for me there, that's when I moved back last year" Now pointedly avoiding his gaze she looked out to the dance floor again, making it quite clear she didn't want to talk about it anymore. That wasn't even the full story really, but it was all her needed to know. There was another beat of silence before she shrugged again and added in a tone more quiet than before; an attempt to soften her voice and make sure he didn't feel bad for her, or him making that statement.
"So no, nobody here for me. I just came because I thought it would look good for work. I'm sort of regretting it now but I better stay for a while at least."
Sometimes it was difficult to receive compliments, but it was easy to give them. At least for Silas. He was really fumbling through this blast from the past and it was getting worse with every passing minute.
He had said something wrong, even with just the very little stammers and murmurs that he had uttered. He knew it instantly from just how her gaze moved away from him, how she forced out a chuckle, the distance she so clearly wanted to put between them at his (he thought) harmless but actually very hurtful question. His eyes widened trying his best to hide his alarm but failing miserably.
"I... I..." Oh, he had really stepped in it now. His cheeks burned and he looked down at the floor as if some helpful phrases and antidotes might be written there. Spoiler - there weren't any. "I'm-" But she had just insisted that he stop apologizing, hadn't she? Then what the heck did he do now?!
"I'm your friend..." He eventually forced out the weak words meekly, not even sure if she had heard them. If she had overheard she probably wouldn't even believe him. They had been schoolmates, separated by years, hadn't stayed in touch. What was friendly about that? Silas didn't have friends. Not really... and not for lack of trying!
Dark eyes caught glimpse of how Alora leaned against the pillar, the next glass of champagne. He knew it wasn't his job to look out for her (who was he to look out for anyone?) but he couldn't help but feel protective. It was the right thing to do, wasn't it? Now... How to go about doing it? What did normal people do in situations like these?
"Perhaps you sh-should sit down?" That probably wasn't it. Darn it.
With a slight smile, she looked to him again. "No apologising. It's ok. I'm just stating fact Silas" Which the sad fact of the matter, she was. "It's fine. I'm[/] fine." She tried to force some more affirmation into her tone, hoping it would calm Silas somehow and stop her worrying for her. "I've moved and stuff anyway. I mean obviously the house in London is still there, but I'm renting a studio flat over Madam Puddifoots for the school year. I'll probably stay there for the most part." she wasn't quite sure why she was telling her plan to Silas, again some sort of reassurance maybe. But it spilled out all the same and she gave him another shrug.
"No I don't think I want to sit down. I'm fine. If I sit down in these shoes I won't stand up again" With a shake of her head, she tried to brush him off. The end of her champagne was gone now. She did eye up Silas' abandoned glass on the table behind him, but decided against leaning forward and taking it. Instead she moved her gaze to meet his again. She surveyed him for a moment in quiet, music playing in the background.
"I don't know why I told you all that. Enough about me; You tell me something about your life now make up for it" her face was more of a smirk now. Slightly teasing, she tried to deflect and try turn it around on him. Still staring him down she wondered what he'd been up to, other than being a big shot. "Your life is probably moving in a much better direction that mine. So tell me about that" With a quirk of her eyebrow, her amber eyes rested on him, waiting for him to come out with something, anything at all.
"I-I know." He barely got through stammering the admission out. Just stating a fact maybe, but it was a sad one and one that made him feel extremely guilty even for accidentally bringing it up. Merlin, he felt like he was in school all over again trying to talk to girls or really anyone who wanted to do anything rather than exchange a few words with him. He swore he could feel his face burn and his hair turned red to match it.
"Madame Puddifoots?" He smiled at the recognition. "That takes me back. I miss those times." Some of the few fond memories involved school shopping, excited about the promise of the upcoming year, that it would be different. It never was. "S-Sometimes." He added quietly, his eyes briefly darting to the ground as the reality of the sadness of his past set in humbling him.
At her decline at sitting down he swallowed, inwardly kicking himself for the hundredth time for even suggesting it. She probably found him stupid, or bossy, or... any other god awful thing. He really should just resign himself to not saying anything ever. It would be safer that way. He was in his dozenth downward spiral of self depreciation when she turned the tables once again on him.
"Me?" Instantly his gaze snapped up as did his head. "Oh... I..." What could he even say? That he was surviving? He was barely doing that! Still he had to find something or else she would ditch his company as soon as she had found it and for some odd reason he didn't want that. "I almost got a dog the other day..." He spoke up hopefully but then he frowned, suddenly very dejected. "Then I decided against it." As much as he would have loved having the company and something to fawn over and need him, he felt like a dog would eventually end up thinking he was a waste of space too. That was Silas - always seeing the doggy bowl half full.
"Maybe a mouse would be better?" He attempted then quickly looked away again. Man, conversations were difficult when you had nothing exciting to talk about.
With a more wry grin, she raised an eyebrow slightly "Does it?" For a moment her mind settled there, wondering just how many dates Silas had been lucky enough to go on there. They were separated in year in Hogwarts in such a way their time in Hogsmeade had never overlapped, he had graduated by the time she had gotten to third year. Wistfully she went on. "I wouldn't know. Nobody liked me enough to bring me" Unfortunately true. Alora was pretty enough when she was in school, but determined with her studies, and not exactly friendly boys had stayed away from her. After she rejected one arsehole one week, they'd all gone off her, so affectionately taking to calling her 'Double A' teasing it was both her name and her bra size. A pink flooded her cheeks as she avoided Silas' gaze and thought about it for a moment.
Though it wasn't long before he drew her attention again, pulling her away from the bad thoughts.
"A dog?" she echoed incredulously. Not incredulous of him as such, but just giggling at the fact that was all her could think to tell her. "I see. How random." shaking her head, she brushed off his thought with another laugh "Why would a mouse be any better? I'm not sure honestly. I just have my plant babies, that's enough for me for now..." Pursing her lips her face grew into a frown, slightly let that that was the best he could tell her.
"That's all you have to tell me though Silas? Surely you can do better than that?" Her frown lessened just slightly, now more encouraging as she fished for information.
"That's not true..." He dared to broach the subject in a quiet voice. As shy as he was, as scared as he was, he couldn't let his old classmate believing a lie. She was pretty now and she was pretty then. "Lots of boys were interested in you. I know that we weren't c-c-close but I certainly overheard them talking." Mainly because they wouldn't allow him to take part in the conversation.
"P... People liked you." He knew he should probably just shut up but he couldn't let anyone think that way about himself especially when it was just not true. "M-Maybe you were just too busy with school and other things to s-see it?" Wow. That even sounded pathetic to him. This whole talking and relating to people thing was tough! "At least... I thought so.. thinks so... I mean... I don't know what I mean..." He settled on the unsure words awkwardly wringing his hands before him before running them nervously through his hair which turned red, then a vibrant purple, then a rather unattractive neon green.
Random? He flinched at the word. Wasn't that just another one of the many words used to call someone weird? He was tired of being weird, random, or whatever other not nice things people wanted to dub him. He just wanted to be Silas. Normal. Too bad those two things went together like oil and vinegar.
"A plant might be nice..." He said thoughtfully but again feelings of dread washed over him. He would probably kill a plant too.
"I..." His frown deepened. "Yes. I'm afraid that's all I have to report." He even let down himself with his admission. He really was mucking this all up. Looking nervously over his shoulder he then looked to the floor. "I do have to be going though." He didn't have to do anything. He just knew that he should before this got any worse.
Pursing her lips she shook her head just slightly ”They called me double A Silas…” with a roll of her eyes she reflected on it again. ”Nobody came near me. But it’s fine, it was a long time ago” Shrugging again she gave him another small smile, like she was forgiving him for something she was unsure of.
Seeing him flinch, made her mirror it. She felt bad for it. She hadn’t meant to cause it and wondered how to make it better for a minute. Eventually she settled on trying to brush it off ”I just meant it’s a random thing to tell me. I wasn’t quite expecting it” Instead she paused to listen to him now. It was her turn to flinch, though she giggled all the same ”No, unless you’re going to keep it alive, I’m not letting you get a plant..” her tone was teasing again, she hoped he’d pick up on it and not take poorly to it.
She settled into a quiet for a moment, her focus shifting away into the crowd again.
It was pulled back after he said he’d have to move on. She hadn’t expected it. Although he wasn’t exactly the most social, she thought they had a pact of sorts; they’d keep each other company. ”Oh.” Maybe it was time for her to get going as well. She hadn’t exactly worked the room just yet, or said much of anything to her present new colleagues. And yet she found herself deflating. ”That’s a shame. But I guess if you have to….” Amber eyes bore into him, wishing he didn’t have to go.