Post by SAOIRSE BYRNE on Oct 11, 2023 21:37:53 GMT
He smiled. She would have noticed it from a mile away and not just because it happened so rarely. But because she always noticed things with him because she wanted to. When he smiled at her, when she made him do it (and she had to be careful not to be too egotistical here), there was a surge of energy that went through her. Was it pride? Did pride normally tickle? Was it this warm and fuzzy feeling in her chest that threatened to travel up to her throat? He looked good when he smiled. With even a tiny one a brightness showed in his eyes even when he avoided one's gaze to hide it. Why did he do that she wondered? If he knew how it made others feel (who clearly must have felt the same way that she did because he was that great) maybe he'd do it more. In reality, he'd probably do it far less. So she kept the secret. Their little secret. Well, hers.
"You're welcome." She returned the small smile. She couldn't help it. It was contagious. When he was happy (was that what he was?) she was happy. But was he happy because she was back and she had come to see him or because she was a silly girl he saw as beneath him? Oh gosh, her heart wouldn't be able to take it if that was the case. She was sick enough as is. The smile instantly washed away when discussing matters of the past however. Emotional ones that were still unresolved.
"Don't make me go. Please." She had cried, sobbing, choking on her own tears her arms wrapped around him. "I'll be quiet. I won't say a word. I won't ask you so many questions. I won't say anything to your girlfriend. I promise. I'll be quiet. You won't even know that I'm there." She tried to debate, young as she was, foolish and hopeful enough to think it would work. Almost instantly she knew it didn't. She rushed to Titus then who looked visibly distraught.
"Please. Please, Titus. Please. Tell him. Tell him!" She hadn't registered it then, but the man had been near tears. He had to feign a cough to look away and quickly wipe them. She then rushed back over to Lynden, looking at him helplessly. "Please?" It was then that she knew it was no use, choking on her own sobs she crumpled at his feet. It was over. She lost her home. She lost him.
And now she was here and as usual, he was distant. The way he drew his hand over his face she found both offended and hurt her. Like her plight or her feelings on the matter were an inconvenience to him rather than something to respect or, god forbid, matter. It hurt to think that one person mattered so much to you and to them you mattered so little. God, how she wanted to matter to him. Everyone else could kick rocks but Lynden? He was different. She didn't know exactly why but only that he did.
"You can be upset for as long as you'd like, there's nothing that I could ever have done to change it."
"That would insinuate that you would have wanted to do anything." Yikes. That came out extremely cold that even she clocked it. That wasn't fair. Deep down she knew that. But also deep down there was a wounded child who had glued herself to him only to be ripped away. She had to get over it - she knew that. But she wasn't there yet. These were thoughts and bitterness that would come out after a few too many beers and sobs later. Not now. Not at work. "Then I will be upset with you for a little longer." She announced simply as if they were discussing the weather, smoothing out her outfit.
A talk? With Titus? How many talks had they had that they must be having them continuously. "The kind of talk where you chastise him and he just does what he wants anyways?" Looking at him pointedly she gaged his response. "You know that I'm right." The word interest gave her pause and she lost some of her edge. "... What kind of interest?"
