Dark Road [TAG: Allen]

[KRYS ROBIN]

It had only been one month since Allen's disappearance, but to Krys Robin it had felt like a thousand eternities. And she knew that for a fact because she only knew facts. She was the smartest person at The Ministry (some would argue) and quite possibly the world (which she didn't have the capacity for humbleness so see point one - facts are facts).

"Krys... I'm sorry..." Burke's solemn face and the heaviness of his words was permanently seared into her mind and not just because her memory was eidetic. She had felt her breath catch in her chest with such severity that she was certain her brain had managed to short-circuit and she no longer remembered the process. Every muscle tightened and shook with awful spasms and she couldn't make words, only a sound of pure fear and panic escaped. But he had said he would never leave. He had said he would be there always. That he would protect her but... what about when he needed protecting? Like now. It was then her hand found its way to her black overalls chest pocket. The compass. Wait. No. Not there? But she always had it there. Racing home she searched frantically through each corner table, couch cushion, and dresser. Nothing. In tears that never seemed to stop falling for days on end she sobbed. She had lost it - and she had lost Allen. She had failed him and Krys Robin wasn't used to failure.

The first night and the days that followed had been the hardest. She sat on their kitchen chair facing his apartment door waiting for him to come back like a left-behind puppy from the moment that she got home from work often until she went back. Sleeping in it curled up certainly didn't help her small body any but surely if she didn't sit there and wait he would never come back, right? But he didn't come back. She had only stopped her little chair ritual after one of Burke's many visits and talks, many of which failed, until he found a new way to broach the subject and told the magical analyst that her new job was to sleep in her bedroom. Which she did but instead of the bed she brought the pillows and blankets under it. Every night she would lay there in the dark, without even light from her now lost comfort to provide her with comfort, and she was certain that, even as a child, she had never felt more alone. Because you're truly alone now. Allen was everything. Now you're nothing. And being nothing hurt. It could have killed her, in fact she wished that it would, because she was sick of suffering.

Work provided her the smallest bit of reprieve as did staying with Allen's sister Ava who after multiple visits to Krys' lab and one to her and Allen's shared apartment, decided/demanded that Krys stay with her in the guest bedroom for the foreseeable future. A brilliant move as she also saw to it that Krys had someone to make sure she went to work, kept busy, fed, and showered (or else Krys would have just turned into a tree stump from the lack of movement). And working right now she was. Tinkering on and with yet another machine, wand in hand, wrench in the other, goggles pulled over her multi-colored eyes enlarging them in the glass. Her back facing the door as it slid open the sound of Ava's heels and Burke's dress shoes were missed... for longer than was acceptable for really by just about anyone (other than her). Luckily these two had the patience of saints, Burke more than Ava, as past exchanges had shown.

"Krys..." Burke cleared his throat. She didn't even clock him. The often professional and very experienced man even seemed off-kilter, upset. It was then that Ava stepped in, quite literally, taking a few quiet steps forward.

"Krys..." Her gentle hand moved to touch Krys' arm but at the last minute gently lowered the woman's wand and wrench instead. "There. That's better, hm? Antoine, um..." Now it was her turn to clear her throat. "I don't know how to tell you this or even begin to explain, and my job is explaining I..." Merlin, she could kind of see why her brother had melted with this woman. Her sad eyes. Reaching out she lifted her goggles to her forehead careful not to touch skin on skin. "Antoine and I have someone we think you might want to see..."

It was then Krys turned her attention on the doorway...

[Deleted]

He wasn’t entirely sure when or how he returned to familiar surroundings. It was a lot like being drunk, actually. Except he hadn’t had a drop. For better or worse, in this case. He could hardly be blamed if it had, despite prior incidents with the substance. Allen had seen and experienced many things that tested his resolve. He figured he still maintained it. Maybe. Maybe it wasn’t for him to decide. Perhaps it didn’t matter. Perhaps it was the only thing that did.

Being apart from Krys hurt. It was like being rended by medieval instruments of war. It was the only semblance of normalcy he could rely on. Sure, she didn’t always say the ‘right’ words at the ‘right’ times. She was quite different. But what she did have was something wonderfully unexplainable that he could rely on always. She would be the only one to get him out of.. whatever he was currently in. A car raced by, inches from his form. He barely clocked it. He turned ninety degrees and continued down the sidewalk to his destination. Ava and Burke. And Krys. Krys. What could he say? ‘Oh hello again darling, I haven’t seen you for a good long time. Is your Jeopardy streak still running? Have you made any delectable soups in my absence?’ No. He wouldn’t know how to approach. And he knew how to approach everything - at least that’s what it felt like. But not this time. Maybe he would just stare. Maybe she would stare back. Maybe she would scream and stutter. Maybe she’d hit him furiously on his chest, sobbing as she did so, like in those silly soap operas. Or maybe, she’d calmly tell him to leave her life, and never return. Where would he go then? Likely somewhere far away from the pain of the past.

Not far now. Right? Did he remember this street - yes. Prolonging the inevitable would do him no favors. He knew where he was going. Right, left, right.. Shambling along. Until his destination presented itself. Funny.. It was never looming before. He was unsure whether he was more frightened of Krys herself, or the implications of everything. Entrance. Corridor. Corridor. It didn’t take long. He wished it did. Didn’t he? Not really. Turning the corner, he stood in the doorway. Krys split the uprights that were Burke and Ava. As if they were intentionally framing her. That moment illuminated much within Allen’s mind. He wanted to see her more than anything else, he had decided. And would pay for his sins in whatever manner she saw fit. It was, the very least he could do. He exhaled heavily from his nose, expelling all the air he had in his lungs. “Little Robin..” His voice was soft, and tender - pitched just a touch higher than normal. His feet stayed glued to where they stood. Burke and Ava disappeared, from his perception. As if they were never there at all. It was a chess match. One he really had no desire to play, but had to oblige. He was playing black. So Krys had the first move.

[KRYS ROBIN]

Her eyes grew about several sizes without the aid of her goggles that were perched atop her head when she saw Allen Watts in her lab doorway. A month ago this would have been a daily occurrence and a welcome one. She up to her elbows in grease and dust, clothes and lab coat stained and wrinkled but engaged. In her element. Once they started seeing each other, and living together, he was often greeted by a big smile and a happy slump of the shoulders that came from her 'relaxing' because she felt safe in his presence. Not now though. She was rigid, blown away, and in shock. Allen Watts? Her Allen. But... it couldn't be. In just a few seconds her expression went from one of annoyance for being interrupted, to shock, to confusion, to hope, then to shock again, then skepticism... that is until he uttered that magical little phrase.

 “Little Robin..”

Instinctively she took two steps forward as if too eagerly close the distance, rushing to the man without a second doubt, to hug him, to hold him but then something else clicked and she stopped. Pushing down the hope her brow then crinkled with suspicion as she tried to make the wheels and cogs in her brain move and click, currently working overtime, as she tried to make sense of it all. Quickly she looked up at Ava with a frown, as if ignoring the man she had so missed.

"That is not Allen Watts." She stated, voice filled with finiteness even though it was the first full sentence she had uttered since they had arrived. "Allen Watts is gone. Also, he does not have facial hair." She turned her attention back on the tall man with a frown and an accusatory look which immediately faltered and her eyes darted away unsurely to the floor and several cabinets so to face him but also avoid looking at him. "Allen Watts does not have hair on his face. This individual has perhaps taken a botched polyjuice potion and I am surprised that you of all people would believe this inferior version, Ava." And as if that was that, mainly because her poor confused brain and wounded heart needed it to be, she promptly put her goggles back on and went back to work.

"Krys..." Ava's frown deepened and she let out a sad sigh once again stepping along side Krys, her usually so sure and dismissive voice oddly gentle. She had picked up a few things with the young magical tech the last four weeks and it showed. "I swear to you that it's Allen." This wasn't easy for anyone, herself included, but at least her brother was back and no longer on that awful mission. She knew he was one of the best and no one else would have pulled it off which is the only reason she agreed to go along with it. There were a lot of disappearances having to do with her siblings and their loved ones that she was fielding lately. For someone well versed in it she certainly didn't enjoy it. "And I think that you know that..." She reached out in a brief lapse of judgment to touch Krys' arm but the other woman stepped out of reach and though her hands stopped meddling with the machine she was working on she still stared at it, determined not to look up.

"I know that Allen Watts disappeared and he did so without saying goodbye. If he was to return that would mean he did not disappear. That would mean he left and Allen Watts promised me that he would never do so. So in summary that cannot be Allen Watts because then that would mean he left Krys and also because he now has a beard and can I please have my wrench and wand back thank you very much and please." Quiet then. Her poor tender heart was racing, thudding against her ribcage. 

[Deleted]

Allen waited. For what seemed like an eternity. No.. no longer than that. Five eternities over. Perhaps more. Is time frozen? Illogical. But in that moment where anything could go in any direction at any magnitude, he would believe just about anything. He had his confirmation that time was indeed not frozen when Krys moved—two quick steps. Allen’s hands twitched. He wanted to reach out and embrace her wholly. More than anything. But he just couldn’t. Not without her engagement. He owed her that much. He owed her much more than that in the grand scheme of things. But that would have to do for now. He figured he’d have a lifetime to make it up to her. But as quickly as she approached, she recoiled. Like he was everything she had despised rolled up into one sad shell of who he used to be. Like he was the villain.

He leaned forward, feet still cemented to the ground. He was conscious of his emotions. He prevented his lip from quivering, though it had desperately wanted to. To run. Or do anything. But he still stood frozen.

That is not Allen Watts.

Heartbreak. He obviously hadn’t been there, but it felt like the fall of Rome. A cascading series of failures that had finally caught up to him. The solution to this problem eluded him. And would continue to. He didn’t know what to say. Every permutation of words dried out in his mouth as he tried to speak them.

Inferior version.

He looked down, following his form to his feet. He admittedly didn’t look great. But inferior hurt. “Krys..” His voice was even weaker now. Like he could simply fall over and sleep. And that would be okay. Ava tried. Oh, how Ava tried. But it still wasn’t enough. She still turned and tinkered. Leaving Allen behind. He really only had one play left. “Krys..” He still hadn’t moved. His face scrunched tightly to prevent tears. “..do you remember the stars? Under the bed? Do you remember the night I found you, or when I came into your lab for the first time?” He shrugged, semi-defeated. “How would I know about any of that, if I was a simple polyjuice user?” Deflated. His life had truly fallen apart. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t tell you I was leaving. Or where I was going. It was dangerous to do so. Please. You have to know I would never..” He had said something similar before. “..I would never purposefully hurt you.”

[KRYS ROBIN]

Her name from the familiar voice had her kick into gear and that gear was defense. Glaring she suddenly snapped her gaze up to the intruder shockingly bold, scarily aggressive, and very angry. "You do not say Krys' name." So she was back to the third person. Some regression had to occur and what little (yet monumental) progress they had made was lost in the wind. It was to be expected when one's safety gear was dramatically yanked away without any warning. 

"Krys..." Ava warned subconsciously reaching for her, managing to get two slender fingers around purple shirt sleeve but Krys continued her approach to the man who had shaken up her world so (in more ways than one).

"Do not ever say Krys' name. You are not Krys' friend. You are not Krys' anything!" If looks could have killed, hers would have done so a thousand times over. As angry as she appeared to be, a strange overwhelming emotion in her small-statured body that could barely contain it, she was also upset. "You are not Allen. You are some imposter, some traitor. Allen Watts is a hero. Allen Watts is-" Her eyes were teary but locked in the moment, and their target was poor, recently returned Allen Watts. 

"S-s-stars?" Instantly her voice cracked and his words hit her like ice water thrown directly in her face. Her brow wrinkled in confusion and her eyes lost some of their venom. "Th-th-there are no more stars." She pressed down on her bottom lip hard trying to hide how upset she was. Her compass was gone. It had gone missing the night he had disappeared.

Clearly knocked off kilter, her fingers began to dance at her sides scrunching and unscrunching before looking up at Ava who she had grown closer to the last month in his absence her voice squeaking at her half question half statement to Allen's sister. "Th-th-there are no stars..." She practically insisted trying to convince herself of the fact she knew all too well to be true. She may question her sanity or social ability but never facts and the compass was gone so were the stars... right?

Ava looked down at Krys giving her a sad smile, eyes shining with tears of her own as even she wasn't immune before looking over at her brother. She felt for him. She really did. She felt for them both. She felt a lot of things. Antoine meanwhile reached out as if to gently reassure Allen but at the last moment retracted his hand and tucked it into his dress pants' pockets. Even he couldn't interfere here. This was entirely up to the two members of his team. His 'kids'.

[Deleted]

Allen’s hands flailed upwards defensively, still quite jumpy from the events of his covert detail. The air escaped from his lungs. A jab from an adept boxer couldn’t have done a better job of that. Krys’ words were the ultimate haymaker. But he would oblige. Again - he had at the very least owed her that much. He would not say her name then. That’s fine. She didn’t say to leave - so that was a small win. But as much as he wanted to claim a small victory, a Krys-less life was a real possibility his future held. It wasn’t much of a future at all. But he had done it to himself. He had accepted the assignment. The worth of it all weighed on him heavily. Rafael could’ve done the mission. Maybe. Probably not. Allen was chosen for it for a reason. It was top secret for a reason. He came back scarred for a reason. But even with all of that in play - he would willingly cast it aside if it meant that he would no longer wake up next to Krys. Or watch Jeopardy. Or eat soup. It was an ugly future. Allen would even go so far as to say dystopian.

But there was a crack in Krys’ defense. Allen’s logic was sound. She knew it. She couldn’t rationalize it. Allen figured her poor mind must be running around in circles, seeking any path that proved she was right, and Allen was indeed not who he said he was. But it was of no use. His heart broke again for her. He knew she had to come to and admit the realization on her own. Allen looked at Ava briefly, pleading for something but not knowing exactly what. There wasn’t really an elegant solution. He turned to Burke, but similarly looked back away.

“I was away…” The only tool he had was the truth. “I had to depart. Suddenly, and without warning. I’m sorry. Only I could do it. I was assigned to it, and it was for the betterment of.. well, a lot of people. If I would’ve told you where I was, or what I was doing.. it could’ve jeopardized the integrity of the mission. Or even worse, it could have endangered your life. I had to do it the way that I did it. That’s not a good excuse I know but.. I hope..” He shrugged his heavy shoulders. “There really aren’t words to describe how I feel. I hope one day - one day soon - you forgive me.”

[KRYS ROBIN]

Krys rarely gave herself enough credit. She could have invented the most complicated spell or magical machine and even after a group of higher ups marveled at it declaring her brilliance she would have simply shrugged the comments off and moved along to the next thing. A result of her harsh upbringing she could never see herself as being worth much of anything. With Allen she had come close. She had even mattered for a little time there, even tricking herself into momentarily believing it but it had proven to be a flash in the pan. If she had truly mattered he wouldn't have left her alone after promising her over and over not to. She was trash. Her parents had been right. Of course they were right. While they weren't as brainy as she had been, she had to get it from somewhere. They knew what she was and had taught her as much. Krys Robin - you are worthless. You were almost tricked otherwise, but now you know it for certain. Thank you parents. Thank you world. Thank you Allen Watts.

His words hit her harder and harder, her shoulders seemingly slumping under the weight of recollection and realization of each one. Now she didn't look at him at all, she couldn't bare it, so instead she sought out confirmation in his baby sister. "So.... he i-is A-A-Allen Watts?" The unsureness in her voice was clear. Ava nodded, affirming the notion, accompanying her silent answer with the softest of smiles that she didn't often sport at work. "So if it is Allen Watts... then... then... then he lied." Her brow furrowed then, turning more serious if only to protect her shattered heart. "When-when-when he said he would always be there and that we should tell each other everything and that K-Krys could c-c-count on him and trust him and-" For once she didn't finish her thought and looked back down at her converse sneakers. One was untied and she made no move to address it. "He lied to Krys." That much was clear.

The silence in the room was deafening. She took more than a few moments before sharply inhaling and looking up at Allen clearly devastated. "You have no words. There are no stars. I do not have soup anymore and I do not forgive you." Krys' eyes diverted back to the floor as if trying to piece together everything, her weird, wonderful little brain working overtime.

Despite how shaken she was, Ava couldn't help but immediately take note of the changes in her eldest brother. His jumpiness, the way his hands jolted upward in an act of nerves that far suited the young woman better than it did him. He was hyper aware, vigilante, even scared. This wasn't how she was used to seeing him. Usually he was sure, steadfast, collected... their calm in the midst of a raging storm. Now he was caught in a whirlwind of their own making and it was like he was stuck alone on a bobbing buoy actually threatening to sink beneath the rough waves. He needed someone to reach out to him but, as it turned out, they were all on their own buoys, barely staying afloat.

"I think, I, would very much like to go to... to... to... somewhere else now. Please.. thank you." She rattled and murmured the words quietly before hurrying out the automatic sliding doors which snapped shut behind her.

Antoine Burke, feeling insanely heavy, looked to the man at his side resting a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to reassure him. "Go easy on yourself, Allen. She'll come around." But honestly, and he only thought this to himself, he wasn't sure.

TAG: @allen